Broken Record

I apologize in advance if this is as annoying to read as it is to hear myself say. Here are ten conversations I am sick of hearing myself have Every.Single.Day in no particular order:

1. "Toothpaste is not for eating. I know it tastes yummy but it's for cleaning our teeth, it's not a snack."

2. "Vitamins are not a snack. I know they are yummy but you can only have one or your tummy will be sick. Thank you for saying please, but you can't have anymore today, you are finished. Skylar, mommy said no more vitamins. Tomorrow you can have another one."

3. "Are you pooping right now? Are you stinky? Should we go change your diaper? Here....let mommy check. Yep, you're poopy!!! Let's go put a clean diaper on! I know you don't want to, but you are stinky and it'll make you feel better. That's okay you can be mad, I still have to change your diaper....would you like a wipee?? Okay! Here's a wipee so you can clean your face! Oh, you want to clean that too? Okay, here's another wipee. Yay, all done! What a big girl!"

4. "Mommy has to go potty now, I'll be right back. It's okay, there's no reason to cry, I'm right in here. You want to come too? Okay you can come too. Oh you want the dogs to come too? I don't think they need to. Okay fine, they're in here too. Mommy is going potty now. Thank you for the toilet paper. Okay, that's enough toilet paper, I don't need anymore. It's time to flush the potty now, are you ready to say bye-bye? Good job! Uh-oh you added more toilet paper, now we have to say bye-bye again. Okay, that's enough now. Thanks for helping."

5. "It's not time to put soap in the dishwasher, it isn't full yet. Okay, we'll put a little bit of soap in so you can close it up. Watch your fingers, please don't squish them. It's not time to turn it on yet. I'm going to turn it off now. You are such a big helper, thank you." (EVERYTIME I OPEN IT.)

6. "Are you ready to feed Sabot? Okay hold the bowl up. Hold it up so the food doesn't spill out. Hold it like this Skylar. Uh-oh the food is spilling. That's okay, let's pick it up now. Okay, now hold the bowl up while you walk. Hold it up please. Uh oh, the food is spilling out again....."

7. "Please don't unfold mommy's clothes Skylar. The clean clothes don't go in the dirty clothes basket, they stay in the drawer. Mommy doesn't want you to put my clean clothes in there with the yucky ones, then I will have to wash them again. Please put them back in the drawer where you got them. Thank you, that's enough, no more helping please."

8. "Please stop giving your food to the dogs, that is food for you, not for them. They have their own food, they don't need yours. I said no more people food for the dogs. If you can't listen they will have to go away so you can't feed them anymore. Okay, the dogs are gone. You don't need to cry, you can still seem them through the glass door. They'll be back when you're done eating."

9. "Where's binky? You don't know? Let's find it! Biiiiinky, where arrrre you????"

10. "We only color on paper Skylar. We don't color on the floor. We only color on paper, we don't color on the couch. We only color on paper, not on the table. Oh, you want to color on your cardboard house? Okay, that's a great idea! Oh no! Please don't feed your crayons to the dogs Skylar. That was not okay to feed your crayon to Sabot, now it is all gone and you don't have it anymore."

Okay, your turn......