I just can't HELP myself

I hate Albertsons. I also hate monopoly. For some reason I am still compelled to play the Albertson's monopoly game.

Maybe it's the valuable prizes....$500,000 for a mortgage, a $1,000 shopping spree, a whopping $2 cash prize (as in enough money to buy half a loaf of bread). Or maybe it's just the fact that Albertsons is literally 1/2 a mile away and the logical place to go when I'm in the middle of making dinner and realize I don't have a key ingredient because I can't plan out meals in advance to save my life. I suppose meal-planning would be more logical than running to Albertsons every other day.

Anyway, that's not the point.

It all started when I happened to buy a "high ticket" item and got 4 game pieces at once, so I figured, eh, what the heck. It seemed like a good start.

The problem is that now I'm slightly obsessed. I've wasted a considerable amount of my life licking and sticking game pieces to the board after searching for 5 minutes to figure out where each one goes. I get truly upset when I have duplicate pieces. I almost had a heart attack when Nicole nonchalantly mentioned that she hadn't taken her game pieces the other day because she didn't know what it was. DIDN'T KNOW???? She knows now.

I am 3/5 of the way toward winning a Chrysler Town and Country. Not that I would ever drive a minivan. Well, maybe a free one....

I even find myself choosing to go to Albertsons when I could go somewhere I like much better....just for the game pieces. A couple of nights ago I did legitimately need to go, I had to have a new lint roller, and I almost screamed "NO! Give them to MEEE!" when the man in line ahead of me told the cashier he didn't want his pieces because he wasn't playing the game. I did manage to summon up enough dignity to bite my tongue, but I don't think I'll be able to should the opportunity present itself again. The urge is just too great.

I won't win, I never win anything. With the exception of the free chiropractic visit I won in college. I still don't know how I ended up winning that because I don't remember entering my name into anything. As it turns out, it wasn't a prize at all and someone who hated me probably put my name in the drawing. It was an absolutely horrible experience in a sleazy little office with no customers. A tiny little woman with the most atrocious body odor EVER climbed onto my back and did horrible things to me. I left nauseated from her stench and in great pain. I literally ran back to my dorm and took a shower to get the stink off. While I'm sure she isn't the norm as far as chiropractors go, I've never been to one since, nor do I plan to ever go. All chiropractors are dead to me.

Okay, that was a little dramatic.

Anyway, this is my new hobby, sad as it is. I should be cleaning the bathroom right now. Instead I am wasting even more of my life blogging about how I'm wasting my life with Albertson's monopoly. Maybe when I win I'll hire a maid.