Friday, March 6, 2009

Make a Boy's Dream Come True!

Today is my brother Josh's 20th birthday. I'm about 99% sure Josh doesn't read this blog except maybe when he's home and my mom forces him to sit down and look at pictures of Skylar. Regardless, this post is in honor of Josh who sent out this heartfelt plea for his birthday:

"Hey beloved brother and sisters,

As you may know March 6th marks the day that a certain young man leaves childhood and enters land only trod by men. That's right, the 20's.

I don't know if you were thinking about getting him something (personally he's all about the policy that if you don't see the person on their birthday a simple call is sufficient). But for those of you that do insist on giving gifts you may have been asking yourself, "What do i get a person leaving childhood behind quicker than Thomas can inhale half a dozen double cheese burgers?"

A large knife? War paint? Tomahawk? Compound bow? Cross bow? Long bow? Roman catapult? English Cannon? Large tires? Anything camouflage? Numb chucks? Battle Ax? A mace? Hand grenades? Massive amounts of gunpowder? Abram tank? F-16?

No, no, no something much less expensive.

A Suriname Red Tail Boa Constrictor from South America. Of the Kingdom: Animalia, Phylum: Chordata, Subphylum: Vertebrata, Class: Reptilia, Order: Squamata, Suborder: Serpentes, Family: Boidae, Subfamily: Boinae, Genus: Boa, Species: B. constrictor.

Now there is one at the local pet store that has caught his eye. His name will be Leonidas and has a price tag of only $80. So with your contributions this dream can become a reality."

While I appreciate Josh's fervency (and vast knowledge of weaponry) I told Josh I could not support this dream based on the fact that this creature could grow large enough to overtake and possibly strangle him. Not to mention, we'll be moving to SC for Micah's career course in about 9 months and there is a good chance this snake could show up at a family gathering of some kind.

Jennifer and Thomas were adamantly opposed as well. Thomas referenced scripture to back up his argument, which basically amounted to Snakes=Satan. Impressive, really.

Nicole, ever the supportive one, didn't hesitate on the condition that she never had to see him feed it.

Bekah agreed, also with conditions:

"Josh, I'm totally in. As long as you will not make me hold it or touch it. I also do not want it near me, unless i chose to go near it. But i do have a question. What are you going to do with it when it "will get to be 10 feet long, weigh over 50 pounds, urinate and defecate like a St. Bernard, and should live more than 30 years." I did my research."

Good point Bekah.

So Happy Birthday Josh....with or without Leonidas.



This picture is just for fun. Josh aptly refers to it as "The Special Olympics Downhill Bike Team". Otherwise known as my family on vacation in Alaska. Jenn and I were not there because we had already been "cut off" at this point. Actually, she was in Afghanistan, and Micah was in Iraq so I didn't go even though my father generously offered to take me. It's a relief to see mom still dresses everyone alike so they won't get lost.

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