Sad but true.

Don't you hate when you can't find your car in a parking lot?

I intentionally make a mental note of where I park before I get out of the car because it's happened to me enough times that I now take preventative measures. So today at the commissary (where all bad things happen) I checked and saw that I was in Row I.

"I" as in "igloo". Got it. I went in the store, did my shopping and came back out.

And this is where it gets ugly.

I walk straight down Row I and get to the end without seeing my car. That's weird, I know I parked closer to the front. So I turn around and end up back at the front of the row and still don't see it. Hmmmm. Maybe it wasn't Row I maybe it was Row H, except I could have sworn my key word was "igloo" not "higloo". But I head over to Row H just in case. Unfortunately 1 in 5 cars is small and silver and I can't seem to locate the one I need.

I am so glad Skylar is at home with Micah and not squawking in the cart making this situation more stressful. I am especially glad that I bought less than 20 items so a poor bagger isn't following me around the parking lot. I hate when that happens. Not that it's ever happened of course.

I switch to my next tactic: hitting the car alarm. We all know they aren't there to protect your car, they are to help you find it. So I hit the little red button and nothing happens. I must be too far away, so I go back to Row I. I start hitting it over and over again and nothing is happening. It worked the other day, so why isn't it working now? Keep walking. Pretend like you know exactly where you're going.

At this point it briefly occurs to me that I have become that person. You know, the one wandering around the parking lot pushing a cart in circles trying to act cool like they may have just taken a wrong turn instead of having completely lost their mind....and their car.

Then it occurs to me that I have never seen anyone doing this but myself. Maybe I am the only person. Maybe the people inside the store see me coming every week and run to the windows when I leave to watch me get lost and wander around the parking lot. Maybe it's their inside joke.

As these thoughts go through my head I'm still walking around, going on lap 5 now, inwardly panicking and outwardly waving hello to the man in the red truck as he nods hi for the 5th time. Is he snickering at me??? He totally is. The worst part about getting lost in a parking lot is that there is always somebody hanging out in their car waiting and watching the whole thing go down.

And then I realize the obvious. Somebody stole the car. Crap!! Now I have to call Micah and tell him to come and get me and then I need to call the MP's. This is going to be so inconvenient right before we move. Who would want our car?????

Oh but wait.......

I didn't drive the Passat today, I drove the X-terra. No wonder the alarm wouldn't work, it was the wrong key! I should just go ahead and enroll myself in the special olympics right now. I've been looking for the wrong car for 10 minutes and there it is right in front of me. I just walked past it 6 times. And oh look, the red truck is parked right next to it. Don't make eye contact.

Just another day at the Trauma-sary.